Why is is that I am always such a bad student? I think it started after I left high school. I was always pretty good in primary school, then I followed through with quite good habits in high school. But after that, somewhere, is when it all comes undone.
I leave things until the very last minute – case in point, I have two major assignments due next week and have starter neither. If I started early, I would have more time to research and perhaps produce a better standard. I know this. Yet time and time again I leave it and leave it and leave it. I procrastinate – I clean, I exercise, I shop, I socialise (online and off), and I blog :/. Its just dreadful! Yet I continually perpetuate this vicious circle. I’m actually catching up on listening to lectures and doing coursework, which I’m behind in as well, in order to put off starting the assignments.
And to make matters worse, when I display this lazy, procrastinating behaviour, my guilt manifests itself into insomnia! Gah! I have been sleeping so badly lately, which in turn makes me feel drained and lethargic and then I have a great excuse to not do any university work. See?! I’m not sure if my mind sucks or it shows superb mastery in getting what it wants – for me to sit on my arse all day and be super unproductive.
I’m trying to talk myself into just getting them done. To see things differently – these are pretty much my last two major assignments and then the units are done!! (Apart from exams – boooooo). I’m trying to use that as a motivating factor. It may work tomorrow haha
But reflecting on all this, I guess it’s not just student related work I am terrible with. As a school teacher I used to always leave writing reports until the last minute. If I had any documentation to complete, such as policy writing, annual performance and development documenting or external agency referrals and recommendations, I would also leave that until the last possible moment. An I got to the stage where I didn’t even have daily plans written out. I knew what I was going to teach, why do I need to spend time writing it all down in great detail?! (I guess because a teacher’s planning document is actually a legal document would be a good response to that question haha
Lazy. That is also a factor. Im lazy.
And I need to be in a study mood.
Stupid thing is, I am enjoying the subject matter. I like the course. I just cannot seem to get ahead with the work. Meh. I need to be better haha The panic and guilt eats away at me.
Commmeeeee onnnnnnnn!!! Just do it!!!!!