A few things lately have made me think Im not doing great.
Im surviving, and I thought nothing was out of the ordinary, but maybe I am actually lower than I thought.
Topping my suspicions is my reluctance to leave my house and see people. Im having to make a real effort to do this lately. Think I need to get back into work – force myself to be productive, be occupied. Holidays are great, but you get stuck in a rut, spend too much time overthinking and slump back into bad habits. That is where I am now.
Im also querying what is so bad about suicide. That is scary to type. I have never really had any such ideations. But questioning it and thinking about scares me a little – a little too close for comfort.
Anyway, just noting that I need to keep an eye on myself. Its now documented. Holding myself to account!